A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?
Essay:The development of a country usually goes to the advantages of the urban areas compared tot the countryside. Usually, it can create unequal living standards and overcrowded cities. On the other hand, the government can minimize the gap by initiating distributive job opportunities and extensive human resource management all over the regions.
To begin with the consequence of priotitizing the cities over rural areas, it has negative impact on the even distribution of basic human rights. For example, the educational accessibility in Nyang-Lay-Pin village is totally lower than the chances in Bago city in Myanmar. Likewise, Tangon has the best educational institutions rather than any other areas of the country. It sparks the another problem of overcrowded cities because of severely differences in earning a high salary and living conditions.
However, the consequences of uneven levels of situations and populated urban societies can be subsidized by the government in some ways. The first is to plan equal resources of the state, for instance, according to budget, human rights and related areas of health, economic, etc. The next suggestion is to arrange the administrative staffs to provide adequate services in villages as much as in the cities. This is because the teachers and health care personnels are relatively less than the hospitals with modern equipments at the central area of the country.
Overall, due to the uneven benefits of the countryside and urban regions, the public suffer from non-equity and overcrowded areas. It can be solved by minimizing the differences and spread the resources to be equal.
Overall Band Score
5.0 - Lexical Resource
5.5 - Task Response
7.0 - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Coherence Cohersion Feedback - 5.5
Lexical Resource Feedback - 5.0
Grammatical Range Accuracy Feedback - 7.0
Detailed Feedback and Analysis
Sentence: The development of a country usually goes to the advantages of the urban areas compared tot the countryside.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: "compared tot" should be "compared to"
Correction: "compared to"
Explanation: This is a typographical error where "tot" is incorrectly used instead of "to," which affects clarity.
Sentence: To begin with the consequence of priotitizing the cities over rural areas, it has negative impact on the even distribution of basic human rights.
Error Type: Lexical Resource
Error: "priotitizing" should be "prioritizing"; also, “the even distribution” should be “even distribution”
Correction: "prioritizing"; remove "the"
Explanation: A spelling error in “priotitizing” detracts from lexical accuracy. Additionally, using “the” before “even distribution” is unnecessary and makes the sentence awkward.
Sentence: It sparks the another problem of overcrowded cities because of severely differences in earning a high salary and living conditions.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion
Error: "the another problem" should be "another problem"; also, “severely differences” should be “severe differences”
Correction: "another problem"; change to "severe differences"
Explanation: The phrase “the another problem” is incorrect; it should simply be “another problem.” Furthermore, using “severely” as an adjective here is incorrect; it needs to be changed to “severe.”
Sentence: However, the consequences of uneven levels of situations and populated urban societies can be subsidized by the government in some ways.
Error Type: Lexical Resource
Error: The phrase “uneven levels of situations” is vague and unclear.
Correction: Replace with clearer terminology
Explanation: The phrase lacks precision. Using more specific language would enhance clarity regarding what aspects are being referred to.
Sentence: This is because the teachers and health care personnels are relatively less than the hospitals with modern equipments at the central area of the country.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: "personnels" should be singular as "personnel"; also, use plural form for 'equipment'
Correction: Change to "personnel"; change to "equipment"
Explanation: The term 'personnel' is already plural; thus, adding an 's' makes it incorrect. Additionally, 'equipment' is an uncountable noun that does not take a plural form.
Sentence: Overall, due to the uneven benefits of the countryside and urban regions, the public suffer from non-equity and overcrowded areas.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: Subject-verb agreement issue; it should be ‘suffers’ instead of ‘suffer’
Correction: Change to 'suffers'
Explanation: Since 'the public' acts as a singular collective noun in this context, it requires a singular verb form.
Sentence: It can be solved by minimizing the differences and spread the resources to be equal.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error:"spread" should be changed to its gerund form for parallel structure
Correction:"spreading"
Explanation:The verbs need to maintain parallel structure; therefore, both actions must use either gerund or infinitive forms consistently.