A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?
Tourism is the main source of profit in many countries worldwide. However, tourism can result in some problematic situations when it is not organized adequately. While tourism has some clear benefits, it is not without its downsides.
As far as the positives of tourism are concerned, one of the major plus points of tourism is that it brings more income to a country that has more visitors. For example, today every visitor spends a lot of money on their expenses during the trip, which is why the visited country has become richer and more beautiful than before. Second, tourism can improve the quality of life by providing a clean environment, modern structures, and other similar items that are beneficial to the welcomer country. For example, if we look at famous places that have more visitors. These places built more structures for their tourists.
On the other hand, about disadvantages. One of the negative aspects of tourism is the increase in the population. On roads, restaurants, or other places, we can see problems. For example, when tourists come to somewhere to travel, we can see traffic jams because their population would increase. Another major disadvantage of tourism is that it can bring new cultures to this place, and they would lose their culture. For example, in my country, every girl or woman wears a dress, but unfortunately, these days it is increasingly common to see women who wear jeans or other similar clothes. Therefore, I believe that tourism is one of the primary reasons for the loss of culture.
To conclude, there are both positive and negative aspects of tourism. Although Although, [Possible missing comma found.] tourism can bring more benefits to a country.
Overall Band Score
6.0 - Lexical Resource
6.5 - Task Response
7.5 - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
How to improve your band score?
Coherence Cohersion Feedback - 6.0
Lexical Resource Feedback - 6.0
Grammatical Range Accuracy Feedback - 7.5
Detailed Feedback and Analysis
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: The use of "downsides" is informal. It should be replaced with "disadvantages" for a more formal tone.
Correction: Replace "downsides" with "disadvantages".
Explanation: Using formal language is important in academic writing to maintain a professional tone.
Sentence: For example, today every visitor spends a lot of money on their expenses during the trip, which is why the visited country has become richer and more beautiful than before.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion
Error: The sentence lacks coherence as it jumps from discussing visitors' expenses to the country becoming richer and more beautiful.
Correction: Restructure the sentence to clearly connect visitors' expenses to the country's improvement.
Explanation: Maintaining coherence ensures that ideas are logically connected, making the essay easier to follow for the reader.
Sentence: These places built more structures for their tourists.
Error Type: Lexical Resource
Error: The word "welcomer" is not appropriate in this context. It should be replaced with a more suitable term such as "hosting" or "visited."
Correction: Replace "welcomer" with a more suitable term like "hosting" or "visited."
Explanation: Using accurate and appropriate vocabulary enhances the clarity and precision of the essay.
Sentence: On roads, restaurants, or other places, we can see problems.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: The phrase "we can see problems" lacks specificity and clarity. It should be revised to provide specific examples of problems caused by tourism.
Correction: Specify the types of problems observed in these areas due to tourism influx.
Explanation: Providing specific examples helps to illustrate the negative impact of tourism on different aspects of a location.
Sentence: Another major disadvantage of tourism is that it can bring new cultures to this place, and they would lose their culture.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error:The use of "they would lose their culture" lacks clarity. It should be rephrased for better coherence and accuracy.
Correction:"They may experience cultural erosion or dilution."
Explanation:The revised phrase provides a clearer explanation of how new cultures may impact local traditions.
Improved Rewritten Essay using Your Ideas
Tourism plays a pivotal role as the primary revenue generator in numerous countries across the globe. However, inadequate management of tourism can lead to a myriad of issues. While tourism offers distinct advantages, it is not devoid of drawbacks.
In terms of the benefits of tourism, one of its major advantages is the substantial influx of income into a country due to the high number of visitors. For instance, each tourist contributes significantly to the local economy by spending on various expenses during their stay, thereby contributing to the economic prosperity and aesthetic enhancement of the host country. Additionally, tourism contributes to an improved standard of living by fostering a cleaner environment, modern infrastructure, and other amenities that benefit the host nation. This is evident in popular tourist destinations where there has been significant development in infrastructure to cater to the needs of tourists.
Conversely, there are several disadvantages associated with tourism. One notable drawback is the strain on local resources and infrastructure due to the surge in population. This often leads to congestion on roads and at public facilities such as restaurants. For example, increased tourist traffic frequently results in traffic gridlocks and overcrowding at popular sites. Furthermore, another significant downside is the potential erosion of local culture as external influences permeate indigenous traditions. For instance, traditional attire worn by women in many cultures is gradually being replaced by Western clothing due to exposure to foreign visitors.
In conclusion, while tourism brings substantial economic benefits to a country, it also poses challenges that need careful consideration and management.
Improved Sentences
- Original: However, tourism has some clear benefits
Improved: While tourism offers distinct advantages
Reason: The improved sentence provides a more sophisticated transition from discussing disadvantages to introducing advantages. - Original: Second, tourism can improve the quality of life by providing a clean environment
Improved: Additionally, tourism contributes to an improved standard of living by fostering a cleaner environment
Reason: The improved sentence uses more refined vocabulary and provides clearer support for the point being made. - Original: Another major disadvantage of tourism is that it can bring new cultures to this place
Improved: Furthermore, another significant downside is the potential erosion of local culture as external influences permeate indigenous traditions
Reason: The improved sentence uses more sophisticated language and provides clearer explanation for better coherence.
Suggested better vocabulary
- pivotal role
- inadequate management
- myriad of issues
- substantial influx
- economic prosperity
- aesthetic enhancement
- indigenous traditions