A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?
Tourism is regarded as the main source of profit by many countries all over the globe. However, tourism can bring about some problematic situations when it is not organized enough. While tourism has some clear benefits, it is not without its downsides.
As far as the positives of tourism are concerned, one of the major plus points of tourism is the fact that tourism brings more income to a country, which has more visitors. For example, today every visitor spends a lot of money on their expenses during the trip, that is why the visited country has become richer and more beautiful than before. Second, tourism can bring quality life such as a clean environment, modern structures, and other similar items, which are beneficial for the host country. For example, if we look at the famous places, which have more visitors. These places built more structures for their tourists.
On the other hand, as regards disadvantages. One of the negative points of tourism is a rise in population. On roads, restaurants, or other places we can see problems. For example, when tourists come to somewhere to travel, that is where we can see traffic jams because their population would rise. Another major disadvantage of tourism is that tourism can bring new cultures to this place, and would lose their cultures. For example, in my country, every girl or woman wears a dress, but unfortunately, these days it is increasingly common to see women who wear jeans or other similar clothes. That is why I think that tourism is one of the first reasons for to the [“to” seems less likely than “the”.] loss of cultures.
To conclude, there are both positives and negatives of tourism. In spite of the fact that tourism can bring more benefit for a country.
Overall Band Score
6.5 - Lexical Resource
6.5 - Task Response
7.5 - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
How to improve your band score?
Coherence Cohersion Feedback - 6.0
Lexical Resource Feedback - 6.0
Grammatical Range Accuracy Feedback - 7.5
Detailed Feedback and Analysis
Error Type: Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: "Profit" should be replaced with "income" as it is more appropriate in this context.
Correction: Replace "profit" with "income".
Explanation: The word "income" is more suitable in this context as it refers to the money received from tourism activities.
Sentence: For example, today every visitor spends a lot of money on their expenses during the trip, that is why the visited country has become richer and more beautiful than before.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion, Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: The sentence lacks coherence and cohesion. It should be rephrased for clarity.
Correction: Rephrase the sentence for better coherence and cohesion.
Explanation: The sentence needs to be restructured to improve its flow and clarity.
Sentence: Second, tourism can bring quality life such as a clean environment, modern structures, and other similar items, which are beneficial for the host country.
Error Type: Lexical Resource
Error: "Quality life" should be replaced with "quality of life" for grammatical accuracy.
Correction: Replace "quality life" with "quality of life".
Explanation: Using "quality of life" instead of "quality life" makes the phrase grammatically correct.
Sentence: One of the negative points of tourism is a rise in population. On roads, restaurants, or other places we can see problems.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion
Error: Lack of coherence between sentences. The second sentence does not directly relate to the first one.
Correction: Connect the two sentences to improve coherence.
Explanation: The second sentence should provide a clear link to the rise in population mentioned in the previous sentence.
Sentence: Another major disadvantage of tourism is that tourism can bring new cultures to this place, and would lose their cultures.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error:"Would lose their cultures." should be replaced with "resulting in loss of their cultures."
Correction:"Would lose their cultures." should be replaced with "resulting in loss of their cultures."
Explanation:The phrase needs to be rephrased for better grammatical accuracy.
Overall, your essay demonstrates good understanding but requires some improvements in lexical resource, coherence and cohesion, as well as grammatical range and accuracy. Make sure to review these areas when writing your next essay.
Improved Rewritten Essay using Your Ideas
Tourism is widely recognized as a primary revenue generator for numerous nations across the world. However, inadequate management of tourism can lead to a myriad of challenges. While tourism offers distinct advantages, it also presents certain drawbacks.
In terms of the benefits of tourism, one of its foremost advantages is the substantial economic boost it provides to a country through increased visitor numbers. For instance, each tourist contributes significantly to the local economy by spending on various expenses during their stay, thereby enhancing the financial prosperity and aesthetic appeal of the destination. Additionally, tourism fosters improvements in infrastructure and environmental standards, resulting in an enhanced quality of life for residents. This is evident in popular tourist destinations where there has been a surge in the development of modern amenities to cater to the needs of visitors.
Conversely, there are notable disadvantages associated with tourism. One detrimental aspect is the population influx that often leads to congestion and strain on public facilities such as roads and dining establishments. The surge in tourist numbers frequently results in traffic congestion and overcrowding at popular sites. Furthermore, another significant drawback is the erosion of local cultures due to exposure to external influences brought about by tourism. This is exemplified by the gradual decline in traditional attire among women in many countries as they increasingly adopt Western clothing styles.
In conclusion, while tourism can yield substantial benefits for a nation's economy and infrastructure, it also brings about several challenges that need to be carefully managed.
Improved Sentences
- Original: While tourism has some clear benefits, it is not without its downsides.
Improved: While tourism offers distinct advantages, it also presents certain drawbacks.
Reason: The improved sentence uses more sophisticated vocabulary and clearly states that there are both positive and negative aspects of tourism. - Original: For example, today every visitor spends a lot of money on their expenses during the trip, that is why the visited country has become richer and more beautiful than before.
Improved: For instance, each tourist contributes significantly to the local economy by spending on various expenses during their stay, thereby enhancing the financial prosperity and aesthetic appeal of the destination.
Reason: The improved sentence uses refined vocabulary and provides a clearer explanation with supporting evidence. - Original: Another major disadvantage of tourism is that tourism can bring new cultures to this place, and would lose their cultures.
Improved: Furthermore, another significant drawback is the erosion of local cultures due to exposure to external influences brought about by tourism.
Reason: The improved sentence uses more sophisticated vocabulary and provides a clearer explanation with supporting evidence.
Suggested better vocabulary
- myriad
- inadequate management
- distinct advantages
- drawbacks
- foremost advantages