Topic:

1. The diagrams below show the coastal village of Seaville in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Essay:

THE MAP ILLUSTRATES SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN SEASIDE TOWN OF SEAVILLE, FOR PERIOD A PERIOD [Possible missing article found.] OF THIRTHY YEARS FROM 1980 TO 2010.

OVERALL OVERALL, [Possible missing comma found.] VILLAGE DEVELOPED SUBSTANTIALLY FROM HOLIDAY HUTS TO PERMANENT HOUSES FOR A PERIOD OF 30YEARS 30 YEARS [Incorrectly used dash or quote characters; It appears that a space is missing between the number and word (or unit).]. INFRASTRUCTURE AND AMENITIES ROSE RAPIDLY, ALONG WITH TOWNS CAPACITY TO PROVIDE FOR TOURISTS.

IN 1980, SEAVILLE WAS TINY WHO WERE ATTRACTING ONLY FEW TOURISTS, WHO ACCOMODATED IN COTTAGES OR IN A SMALL HOTEL. IN CONTRAST, EAST BANK WAS UNSPOILT. TO THE EAST OF COTTAGES WAS MARSH AND TO THE NORTH WAS WOODLAND. RECREATION BESIDES THE BEACH BEACH, [Possible missing comma found.] THERE IS A TEA ROOM TEAroom [Grammar Error; The noun “TEAroom” is spelled as one word.].

HOWEVER, THE VILLAGE HAS GROWN DRAMATICALLY BY 2010. THE MARSH HAD BEEN DRAINED AND COTTAGES WAS Were [The verb “was” doesn’t seem to fit in this context, “were” is probably more formally correct.] DEMOLISHED IN ORDER TO CONSTRUCT HOUSES. WOODLAND WERE CLEARED AND SUPPLANTED BY GOLF COURSE. THE RETIREMENT VILLAGE WAS BUILT TO THE WEST OF THE MAIN ROAD. TO CATER FOR TOURISTS, HIGH LEVEL HOTELS AND HOLIDAY COTTAGES WERE CONSTRUCTED TOWARDS EAST BANK. SIMILARLY, BOAT a BOAT [Possible missing article found.] CLUB WAS BUILT ON THE WEST BANK OF THE RIVER. THE INFRASTRUCTURE WAS CREATED TO ACCESS THE EAST BANK. ON THE OTHER HAND TOWN, HAD PRESERVED THE ORIGINAL HOTEL.

5.5
Overall Band Score
5.5 - Coherence and Cohesion
6.5 - Lexical Resource
5.0 - Task Response
6.0 - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
How to improve your band score?
Work on your paragraphing. Your paragraph number 1 is not fully developed.
Consider developing your paragraph further with additional details to strengthen your response. Check this blog.
Coherence Cohersion Feedback - 5.5
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- ✔️All paragraphs have central topic
- ✔️Paragraph Count
- 🟡 Variety of cohesive devices used
The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and ensure a smooth flow. The student mainly uses simple transitions like 'however' and 'in contrast'. More diverse cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'conversely', or 'meanwhile' could enhance the coherence of the essay.
- 🟡 Ideas logically sequenced
The ideas are not logically sequenced across paragraphs. For instance, the transition from discussing the village in 1980 to its growth in 2010 lacks a clear progression. To improve, the student should ensure a smoother transition between past and present scenarios for better coherence.
- 🟡 Essay has clear flow
There is a lack of clear flow between paragraphs, making it challenging to follow the message. The abrupt shifts from discussing the village in 1980 to its development in 2010 disrupt the coherence. To enhance clarity, the student should establish smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
- ❌ Referencing and substitution used
The referencing and substitution are not properly used in the essay. The student struggles with pronoun reference and definite article usage. For example, 'THE MAP ILLUSTRATES SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN SEASIDE TOWN OF SEAVILLE' could be improved by using pronouns like 'It' instead of repeating 'THE MAP'. This impacts the clarity and cohesion of the essay.
- ❌ Proper Paragraphing
You need to work on your paragraphing. Your paragraph number 1 is not proportional and not fully developed. Consider developing your paragraph further with additional details to strengthen your response. Check this blog.
Lexical Resource Feedback - 6.5
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- ✔️Complex phrasing used correctly
- ✔️The vocabulary used is precise and expressive and fit the topic
- ✔️Spelling and word formation used correctly
- ✔️Formal language used
- 🟡 Collocation (which verb match which noun) used correctly
PERIOD OF THIRTHY YEARS should be THIRTY YEARS.
- 🟡 Variety of words used to prevent repetition
The student has some repetition in the essay. For example, 'COTTAGES' is repeated multiple times. To enhance word variety, the student can use synonyms like 'holiday huts' or 'vacation homes'.
Grammatical Range Accuracy Feedback - 6.0
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- ✔️Major grammatical Errors are avoided
- 🟡 Variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences used
The essay lacks a variety of sentence structures, mostly consisting of simple sentences. To enhance the essay's complexity and sophistication, incorporating more compound and complex sentences would be beneficial. For instance, instead of 'THE VILLAGE HAS GROWN DRAMATICALLY BY 2010. THE MARSH HAD BEEN DRAINED AND COTTAGES WAS DEMOLISHED IN ORDER TO CONSTRUCT HOUSES.', a complex sentence like 'By 2010, the village had undergone significant growth, with the marsh being drained and cottages demolished to make way for new houses' could improve the essay's structure.
- 🟡 Sentence structures are used appropriately
The essay contains some sentence structure errors that affect clarity and coherence. For example, 'FOR PERIOD OF THIRTHY YEARS' should be 'for a period of thirty years' for correct grammar and clarity.
- 🟡 Used appropriate grammar tenses
There are inconsistencies in the use of tenses throughout the essay. For example, 'WOODLAND WERE CLEARED AND SUPPLANTED BY GOLF COURSE' should be 'woodland was cleared and supplanted by a golf course' to maintain tense consistency. Ensuring consistent and appropriate use of tenses will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
- 🟡 Used punctuation accurately
There are punctuation errors in the essay that impact readability and flow. For instance, 'TO THE EAST OF COTTAGES WAS MARSH AND TO THE NORTH WAS WOODLAND.' should be 'To the east of cottages was marsh, and to the north was woodland.' to correctly separate clauses. Improving punctuation usage will help convey ideas more clearly.
Detailed Feedback and Analysis
Sentence: THE MAP ILLUSTRATES SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN SEASIDE TOWN OF SEAVILLE, FOR PERIOD OF THIRTHY YEARS FROM 1980 TO 2010.
Error Type: Lexical Resource, Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: "THIRTHY" should be corrected to "THIRTY".
Correction: Change "THIRTHY" to "THIRTY".
Explanation: Spelling error in the word "THIRTHY", it should be spelled as "THIRTY".

Sentence: OVERALL VILLAGE DEVELOPED SUBSTANTIALLY FROM HOLIDAY HUTS TO PERMANENT HOUSES FOR A PERIOD OF 30YEARS.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: Add a space between "30" and "YEARS".
Correction: Add a space between "30" and "YEARS".
Explanation: The lack of space between the numbers makes it appear as one word, which is incorrect.

Sentence: IN 1980, SEAVILLE WAS TINY WHO WERE ATTRACTING ONLY FEW TOURISTS, WHO ACCOMODATED IN COTTAGES OR IN A SMALL HOTEL.
Error Type: Task Response, Lexical Resource
Error: Change "TINY WHO WERE" to "A TINY VILLAGE THAT WAS".
Correction: Change "TINY WHO WERE" to "A TINY VILLAGE THAT WAS".
Explanation: The original sentence lacks clarity and does not accurately describe the village in 1980.

Sentence: RECREATION BESIDES THE BEACH THERE IS A TEA ROOM.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion
Error: Add a transition word like 'Additionally' at the beginning of the sentence for better coherence.
Correction:Add 'Additionally' at the beginning of the sentence.
Explanation:The sentence lacks a smooth transition from the previous information. Adding a transition word will improve coherence.

Sentence:HAD BEEN DRAINED AND COTTAGES WAS DEMOLISHED IN ORDER TO CONSTRUCT HOUSES.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error:"WAS DEMOLISHED" should be corrected to "WERE DEMOLISHED".
Correction:"WAS DEMOLISHED" should be corrected to "WERE DEMOLISHED".
Explanation:The subject 'COTTAGES' is plural; therefore, it requires the plural verb 'WERE DEMOLISHED'.

Overall, pay attention to spelling errors, use appropriate transitions for better cohesion, ensure subject-verb agreement for grammatical accuracy, and provide clear descriptions as per task requirements.