Topic:

. Many countries construct modern buildings to give good view of towns and cities. Some people say that countries should make new buildings with traditional style to preserve their culture as part of their identity. Do you agree or disagree?

Essay:

Although some people thought that for better looks and views, modarn buildings should build by following traditional style, and it will bear our culture and identity. I strongly disagree with the opinion because we have modern technology which can make building more durable and adaptable

Nowaday's, modern technologies and materials are more durable than previous one. For instance, right now we use vibrator to remove the air between concrete and cement, which is make to make [Possible missing preposition found.] a building more stronger stronger [Grammar Error; Use only “stronger” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.]. Moreover, in the past, we had used stone, and present in present [Possible missing preposition found.] we use cement, which is tested from selentefic labrotory. Because of these, modern buildings become more adaptable.

Furthermore, because of modern technology, we can build skyscrapers. It needs a tiny amount of place, but we are unable to build tall building by following traditional methods. In addition, every building depends on the surmounding and climates. Day by day, climate is changing rapidly, so that it might become impossible to construct a building, If we follow old methods.

However, old tradition bear out identity and our culture, but this style need a tons a ton [Grammar Error; The plural noun “tons” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a ton” or “tons”?] of time to build. For example, Taj Mahal had taken more than 16 years and more than 10000 workers. If we follow pristine way to construct any building, the expenses will become more costly. Also, it will consume a lot of time, until we fellow [Grammar Error; A verb or adverb may be missing or misspelled.] the modern methods.

To sum up, following traditional methods will keep our identity, but none of us will be safe. Also, It will consume time and hamper our environment.

5.5
Overall Band Score
6.0 - Coherence and Cohesion
6.5 - Lexical Resource
5.5 - Task Response
5.0 - Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Coherence Cohersion Feedback - 6.0
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- ✔️Ideas logically sequenced
- ✔️Proper Paragraphing
- ✔️Paragraph Count
- 🟡 Variety of cohesive devices used
The essay lacks a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly. For example, the repetitive use of 'modern technology' could be replaced with synonyms like 'advanced technology' or 'contemporary methods' to enhance coherence and avoid monotony.
- 🟡 Referencing and substitution used
There are some errors in referencing and substitution. For instance, 'it will bear our culture and identity' could be improved by using 'this approach preserves our culture and identity.' Ensure consistent use of pronouns and definite articles for clarity.
- 🟡 All paragraphs have central topic
Paragraph 3 lacks a clear central topic sentence. It discusses skyscrapers and climate change without a clear transition. Each paragraph should focus on one central idea to improve coherence.
- 🟡 Essay has clear flow
There is a lack of clear flow between Paragraphs 3 and 4. The transition from discussing modern technology to traditional methods is abrupt. To improve coherence, use transitional phrases like 'however' or 'on the other hand' to connect contrasting ideas.
Lexical Resource Feedback - 6.5
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- ✔️Complex phrasing used correctly
- ✔️Spelling and word formation used correctly
- ✔️Formal language used
- 🟡 Collocation (which verb match which noun) used correctly
For example, 'modarn buildings' should be 'modern buildings'. To improve, the student should pay attention to using correct collocations to enhance the clarity and accuracy of their writing.
- 🟡 Variety of words used to prevent repetition
The student has some repetition in the essay. For instance, 'modern technology' is repeated multiple times. To enhance word variety, the student can use synonyms like 'advanced technology' or 'contemporary technology'.
- 🟡 The vocabulary used is precise and expressive and fit the topic
Some vocabulary choices do not fit the topic well. For example, 'vibrator' is not the appropriate term for construction equipment; 'vibrating machine' would be more precise. The student should ensure that the vocabulary chosen is accurate and fits the context of the essay.
Grammatical Range Accuracy Feedback - 5.0
Using IELTS grading criteria.

- 🟡 Variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences used
The essay lacks a variety of sentence structures, mostly consisting of simple sentences. To improve the essay's readability and sophistication, incorporating compound and complex sentences would enhance the overall quality. For instance, in the second paragraph, instead of using only simple sentences, combining ideas into compound or complex structures would make the argument more compelling.
- 🟡 Used appropriate grammar tenses
There are inconsistencies in the use of tenses throughout the essay. For example, 'Nowaday's' should be 'Nowadays,' 'it will bear our culture' should be 'it bears our culture,' and 'we had used stone' should be 'we used stone.' Ensuring consistent use of appropriate tenses will improve the overall coherence of the essay.
- 🟡 Used punctuation accurately
There are punctuation errors throughout the essay that affect the flow and clarity of the writing. For example, missing commas after introductory phrases ('Nowaday's,' 'Furthermore,' 'To sum up,') and incorrect use of apostrophes ('Nowaday's'). Correcting these punctuation errors will enhance the readability of the essay.
- ❌ Sentence structures are used appropriately
The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures that make it difficult to understand the intended meaning. For example, 'Nowaday's' should be 'Nowadays,' 'modarn' should be 'modern,' 'selentefic' should be 'scientific,' 'surmounding' should be 'surrounding,' and 'fellow' should be 'follow.' These errors impact the clarity and coherence of the essay.
- ❌ Major grammatical Errors are avoided
The essay contains major grammatical errors that significantly hinder the overall communicative value. These errors include incorrect verb forms ('should build' instead of 'should be built'), subject-verb agreement issues ('it needs' instead of 'they need'), and inconsistent verb tense usage ('we have modern technology' but then 'we had used stone'). Addressing these major grammatical mistakes is crucial for improving the clarity and coherence of the essay.
Detailed Feedback and Analysis
Sentence: Although some people thought that for better looks and views, modarn buildings should build by following traditional style, and it will bear our culture and identity.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: "modarn" should be "modern", "should build" should be "should be built", "and it will bear" should be "as it will preserve"
Correction: Replace "modarn" with "modern", change "should build" to "should be built", and replace "and it will bear" with "as it will preserve"
Explanation: The errors are related to incorrect spelling, verb form, and word choice. It is important to use the correct spelling of words, proper verb forms, and appropriate expressions for clarity.

Sentence: Nowaday's, modern technologies and materials are more durable than previous one.
Error Type: Lexical Resource
Error: "Nowaday's" should be "Nowadays", "previous one" should be changed to a plural form as it refers to technologies and materials
Correction: Change "Nowaday's" to "Nowadays", replace "previous one" with a plural form like "previous ones"
Explanation: The error is in using an incorrect spelling of the word 'Nowadays' and not using the correct plural form for 'previous'.

Sentence: For instance, right now we use vibrator to remove the air between concrete and cement, which is make a building more stronger.
Error Type: Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Error: Change 'vibrator' to 'vibrators', 'is make' should be 'makes', 'more stronger' should be 'stronger'
Correction: Replace 'vibrator' with 'vibrators', change 'is make' to 'makes', replace 'more stronger' with 'stronger'
Explanation: The errors are related to singular/plural usage, subject-verb agreement, and comparative/superlative forms. It is important to ensure consistency in these aspects for grammatical accuracy.

Sentence: In addition, every building depends on the surmounding and climates.
Error Type: Lexical Resource
Error: Change 'surmounding' to 'surroundings'
Correction: Replace 'surmounding' with 'surroundings'
Explanation: The error is in using an incorrect spelling of the word 'surrounding'.

Sentence: Day by day, climate is changing rapidly, so that it might become impossible to construct a building, If we follow old methods.
Error Type: Coherence and Cohesion
Error: Add a comma after “building” for better sentence structure
Correction:Add a comma after “building”
Explanation:The error affects the coherence of the sentence as adding a comma helps in separating ideas clearly.

Sentence:
However, old tradition bear out identity and our culture,
Error Type:
Error:"bear out identity" should be changed to something like “preserve our identity”
Correction:
Replace “bear out identity” with “preserve our identity”
Explanation:
The phrase used does not convey the intended meaning clearly. It is important to choose words that accurately express the idea being conveyed.

Sentence:
Also, It will consume time and hamper our environment.
Error Type:
Coherence and Cohesion
Error:
Remove capitalization from “It”
Correction:
Change “It” to “it”
Explanation:
Consistency in capitalization helps maintain coherence within sentences.